Monday, November 18, 2013

What's a Friend Crush?

Is there such a thing as a friend crush? I believe there is. I've been listening to The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch and I find myself comparing my behavior to his asburger driven eccentricities. When meeting a couple at a party with his wife he says,

"We need to become close friends with these people as soon as possible. Invite them over this weekend, they like us it's obvious. He mentioned they have a boat, that was an invitation for us to join them on it, right?" His wife responds with,

"They were just talking to us the way people do at parties, I think they might be drunk."                            

While his reaction may sound weird to some, I think it's partially perfectly normal, either that or I am extremely weird. I find myself meeting people at church or at work, or even on the playground picking my kid up from school, about whom I think to myself, wow this person is so intriguing and I think we'd get along really well. But I'm pretty shy, so it takes monumental effort for me to take whatever that next step is to getting to know them better.

Enter the "friend crush". I will obsess about what's the right thing to say when I see them so I sound interesting and not like an ignorant idiot. Should I call them to hang out, is that too forward, am I staring too much when I see them, maybe I should ask them questions about themselves so they will feel important around me and will enjoy my company more? My self queries and inhibitions are endless.

Does anybody else get "friend crushes" and if you do, how do you go about moving past any anti-social inclinations that come more naturally to you than easy going normal behavior?

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