Saturday, September 7, 2013

Naked

I started reading my 8th grade French teacher's blog ShelahBooksIt. I heard about it because over a year ago she moved into my neighborhood. I still can't get over the weirdness of it, and I feel so awkward every time I see her like at the grocery store etc. . . .maybe because when I was in 8th grade I thought
I knew my teachers, especially when she's one of my favorite teachers, and then I meet her 15 years later and I realize I don't know anything about her, even though there's this history. Sorry I digress.

Every time I read a blog, I get the desire to write my own, maybe it's part of my competitive nature anyways. . ..when I read a blog I feel like I have to start at the beginning, otherwise I will misunderstand every inside joke or reference to the past. So I found the beginning which I think had some '05 entries back when she had 3 kids instead of the 6 she has now. I'll admit I am hooked. I find it so interesting. She writes very well, I love her poetry even though she calls it silly, I think it's wonderful, and I can relate to almost everything she writes about. So the part of me that wants to write a blog is also the part of me that only wants to write it for any positive recognition that may come from it, but with a blog I feel like I'm standing naked in front of all my neighbors, especially where I have a tendency to be overly honest and speak without a filter. 

So here's some better reasons for putting it all out there. I must develop a thicker skin, I can't let myself obsess about what the reader is thinking. This will be difficult because unfortunately I deeply care what others think of me. I'll post to overcome this defect. Secondly, write (almost) every day. It is a goal I've had for the last year and half since I started writing stories about growing up, but it's spastic, for a week I'll write pages, and then I won't touch it for months, the goal here is to become more consistent. Even if nobody reads this and my audience is pretend, the fact that it's out there and my inane need to please others will drive me to get it done. Thanks for the inspiration Mrs. Miner.

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